Away

I want to write, "Sorry, I've been away." It's a euphemism. I suppose it would apply here, since I have to "come" here to write and participate. I guess I'm "away" when I don't log in. But I haven't been traveling. I've been unable to muster the energy and string the thoughts together that are required for this kind of writing. it's called living with a chronic condition. Sometimes it's not just a 'bad day', it's a 'bad cycle' (however long a cycle turns out to be.)

I've had lots of vampiric thoughts on my mind. The first season of True Blood ended and there are so many aspects of that story to explore. I've read two other vampire books. Yep, more fodder there. I especially don't like leaving the thread of vampire thinking where it was, because I wouldn't want anyone to assume that I was endorsing the vampiric state in any way. That was meant to be the begining of a train of thought. The train stopped in the first station and apparently couldn't get enough coal to make it any further along the track. It will, eventually.

Perhaps, though, I should write a little bit about Lyme disease first. I'm coming out of a rough patch (I hope I am, anyway.) Trying an endeavor like this, where steady input is the best way to keep an audience, was a risk for me. What will happen if I can't produce? This project doesn't have a lot of impact on my life. I'm not earning income from it. (Though, I see it as a practice. A development of a discipline and a honing of a skill, so that later I might earn an income from writing.) But the concern I have about my ability to meet any expectations is a microcosm of what I experience as I face a life with a disability. I might need to process that a bit. Doing so might be just the thing that produces the coal for that train. (We mine for coal, don'e we?)

Tomorrow evening I'll give that a try. Until then.....