Ugh. When Will We Learn?

Today I was directed to two Salon.com articles about Michelle Obama. The first is about her rear end. Yes, a woman wrote and took up space on a news site about the First Lady-Elect's butt. The second is a lament that she is being pushed to sublimate her strong, professional self for the less threatening role of mother.

I was asked my opinion. Well, such mixed feelings.

On the first one: sheesh, we haven't been talking about the details of Laura Bush's body for the past eight years. And it's not like she was a waif. So, what the hell? This article was specifically about celebrating a black woman's butt. Will we be celebrating the black Mr.'s you-know-what next? I get that women feel dehumanized and oppressed via objectification. Black women have been at the very bottom of the social ladder and definitely get the worst of it.  But you don't crawl up by celebrating another woman's body part. Celebrate the person. Obama ran as the best person for the job, not the best black person for the job. Michelle supported his campaign. Not to forward the acceptance of a big butt, but because she thought her husband was a gift to this country. People really need to rise above their neuroses.

On the second, I couldn't even read it. Again, women have to rise above if they are to rise at all. The fact is that the Obamas are a team. Obama has just been elected to the single most demanding job in the country and they have two young daughters. Of course, as a loving partner and mother, she will scale back her work outside of the home to steer her family safely through one hell of a transition. If she were president, he would do the same. It's not about gender, it's about family. As a team, they decided to support him going for and executing this job. I don't get the sense that for one moment, she considers herself having given up anything. Nor is it likely that she couldn't resume any level of work that she chooses. They are to be commended as a model for a healthy family.

As for the idea that her role as an advisor is being played down for gender reasons, that's also patently absurd. It's not that she's a woman. It's that she wasn't the one elected. We've been through this. When Hillary was running everyone was concerned about the 2-fer that seemed inherent. It was a drag on her chances. Not for gender reasons, but because the spouse didn't campaign on his agenda and we didn't elect him. The highly influential relationship of a spouse makes it much more difficult for the electorate to put aside suspicions about what kind of damage can be done by an overly-aggressive spouse. (can we talk Health Care Reform setback?)  A spouse is so different than other staff members that are hired for the administration. You can't really fire them. That said, they always have some sort of influential role and it's up to the couple to find the balance. Everyone needs to just accept that and get on with things. But I definitely don't see it as a gender issue.

Are those that complain about Michelle Obama's decision to focus on her children during this overwhelming experience of being thrown into the world spotlight is a bad one? Are they suggesting that she should ignore the family needs? We're talking two young girls who will find that play dates come with Secret Service units and every move they make comes with a swarm of Papparazzi. I'd be disappointed in them as parents if they didn't decide that Michelle should focus on them for a while.

I'm certainly sensitive to the oppression of women, and particularly black women who really do have it worse than anyone in this country. Still, I'm always disappointed at how successes are celebrated. We think it's some kind of movement forward that a woman with a big butt is First Lady. But the very thing that indicates that we haven't moved forward is that we're focusing on her butt. We scream for gender equality, but we don't actually celebrate feminine qualities. We want empowwerment, unless it's the power to choose something we derisively call 'traditional'. Tradition isn't necessarily bad. Not valuing all the roles played to carry out the needs of society is what we need to fight against.

We need to see the Obamas as role models. Will we learn from them? They have risen to prominence because they ignored all the things that people tried to use as weapons of oppression. We need to keep on ignoring it. Note when the weapons are successful and work to neutralize them. But when they aren't, leave those weapons in the decaying battlefield to be buried in the sands of time. Otherwise we're only pointing them at ourselves.